The One With the Divine Intervention!

I have thought a lot about how to write this blog, in reference to my previous post. I considered taking it down. But after some thought I realised I need to stay true to my feelings and the previous post was how I felt.

The hurt of how we had been treated affected me deeply. I am an anxious and emotional person at the best of times and it very much exacerbated my feelings. On Tuesday evening I decided to go for a walk to try and clear my head somewhat. Along the way I dropped into Erika's to take something round. She invited me in. At the time, I was thinking no, but went in anyway.

The obvious topic came up. Poor Erika having to listen to it. And then all my emotions - of everything collided into an emotional meltdown. Now most people around me will see me explode at one time or another, an unfortunate symptom of my passion, but tears and panic are two things I normally keep to myself. I am not one for public displays of emotional wreckage. So even though my emotional fallout may have been somewhat of a burden to Erika, in a funny kind of way it was indeed a compliment. A mark of trust.

Once slightly calmer, and somewhat statue like as described, Erika turned to her bible. To find the words that may go some way to fix this. There were a few profound comments within this. One of which (and I am obviously paraphrasing here!!!)

When you don't have the strength to fight anymore the lord will do it for you.

I had reached my point where I really didn’t have the energy to fight anyone or anything, and if some divine spirit was there to help, then I was willing to take anyone’s help.

After she read this to me, my initial thoughts were that of, thanks for your kind words and an almost envy that people could have such a faith in something. To be honest I gave it very little thought after then.

Erika walked me home with some flowers and that was that.

Until about half an hour later

Then the strangest thing.

I had the most surreal sense of calm wash over me. Almost miraculous. I was still hurt so why did I suddenly feel this way? Trust me calmness doesn’t overwhelm my spirit easily!! I suddenly smiled, for the first time in days. Felt stronger. But nothing had happened. Really nothing at all, I wasn’t even thinking of anything I was simply ready for bed! But had something happened?

I thought back to the things Erika had said to me. Had God answered her prayer? Had god fought for me and given me strength to fight myself?

I was never sure of religion before this, I have been a confused woman sat on the fence for a while now. But this somewhat changed me. I didn’t go looking for divine intervention; I wasn't even thinking of religion. And yet when I wasn’t looking, something magical happened, without warning, without searching and without asking.

Well at least, I didn’t ask.

But I believe someone else did.

That very moment changed me. However much of a cliché it may sound it really did. Something happened to me that evening without any effort on my part; I didn’t have the emotional energy or will. But it still happened.

I only have one explanation for the feeling I had.............

God answers prayers (Erika - FB status 2011)