The One With All the Saudi Myths!

Well I figured it was about time I actually wrote just about Saudi. About the people, the culture, the country. And about the preconceptions that many Westerners face when thinking of this country.

So I came here as a white, non-Muslim female. Was I worried??

Oh yes!

Was I right to be?

NO!

When we first made our decision to start traveling it was quite late on in the academic year, so jobs weren't in abundance for Jason. However one place I said I would not consider going to was Saudi. Guess what? One of his best job offers was for Saudi!

I had a mangled mess of preconceptions about Saudi, mainly from the media. It was full of terrorists, women were degraded, there was no chance of any resemblance of a normal life over here!! They had only just discovered cars!

Oh how wrong can one person be!

Let's start with the terrorist issue shall we. Before I begin, I must say that Saudi has a very strict zero tolerance to terrorism!! This is a serious issue that is affecting people all over the world. We all live in fear. And so do the Saudis. There seems to be a blanket theory in the West that all Muslims must be terrorists because all we see is the extremists 'using' the Koran to exploit their cause. But all we hear is they have done what they have done in the name of Allah.

Now I am as guilty as the next when it comes to prejudice, as ashamed as I am to admit it. I came here with no true knowledge of Islam and the fear that it could be Islam that was at fault for the wars around the world. But I had a duty to educate myself. If I was planning on living in an Islamic country for at least two years. If I had formed these prejudmental ideas then I had to justify them, or be willing to be proved wrong.

So I did.

I have asked questions, embraced the answers and made up my own mind. Now I am not about to convert to Islam, I was raised predominantly Christian, but if I was ever to consider myself Christian then I have to be prepared to embrace all cultures. My neighbour, who has pretty much been my teacher, has patiently answered the questions I put her, ranging from the deep, intellectually challenging, to resembling those that would be asked by a 6 year old!! But my dear Farah has accepted my challenges, my concerns and my queries. A perfect example of a good Muslim and may Allah always bless her.

So what were my questions?

Well one of the first was obviously regarding the terrorists. What are they using from the Koran to justify what they do? Surely there must be something in there? Surely not all these people can be wrong? In short they can be. Anything can be manipulated to justify a means. Any words can be twisted and interpreted to however the reader wants to read them. My words on here could be churned up and twisted into whatever you want them to mean. I am just trusting you as my readers to simply read my words and understand me. Basically these people are using a piece of writing that is read and adorned by millions to create fear.

My lesson - not all Muslims are terrorists, in fact a true Muslim is not a terrorist, they would not use their religion to insight fear and hatred in others. We all should learn from that, the less we all judge the less power these people will have and the more chance we have to fight for a better cause, to eventually have a perfect, peaceful world. In reality that is what we all want, we all have a common goal and we can only get there together.

I have asked a lot of questions about the Koran. I came here really having absolutely no idea and in reality even now my knowledge is very limited. The Koran was written by the last Prophet, Muhammad, this is not to say Jesus didn't exist, the Koran acknowledges Jesus, just not as the son of God, as a prophet and Muhammad was the last of the prophets.

So what's the deal with all the wives?

Well the prophet married several women to make a point, to teach people. Firstly he had a rule - all of these women would be treated equally and no wife should shed a tear over another, they should all feel equally loved and respected. He wanted to rid the preconceptions of the woman that people should marry, that just because a woman was divorced or widowed, or old or young that they shouldn't have judgment passed on them for that. He married several women, a widow, who was his first marriage, a divorcee, a slave, a non Muslim, a prisoner of war, a young attractive woman. He proved the point that he could provide love and warmth equally to these women regardless of the preconceptions people may have had of them. So really when it is put in those terms it makes perfect sense. A Muslim man can still now marry more than one woman, but he too must treat them equally.

The basic idea of the Koran is not dissimilar to other religious texts. It promotes peace and respect to all mankind. The problem is because it has been so publicly abused we fear it, because we have no real understanding of it we judge it.

Another thing that I was told before I came here was that I would see women beaten and raped in the streets! Well let me inform you I haven't even seen a woman scolded in public let alone any of the above! I am not even sure where that idea even came from and my only way to defend it is to say ludicrous! Now I am not by any stretch saying that these things never happen, I cannot say that. But let's put it in perspective. How many cases can you think about that were in the British press just this year and last about women being murdered at the hands of their partners?? Unfortunately there were many, and they were only the ones that made it to print! It happens, it happens ALL over the world. It doesn't happen in the UK simply because they are British, it doesn't happen in the US because they are American - it happens because unfortunately there are evil people everywhere. What I am saying is it isn't a cultural thing. It is an unfortunate flaw of mankind. So let me assure you, IF it happens here it happens in the same context and level of extremity than it does all over the world.

So the women cover up.

Even the westerners!

Some people have a real issue with the abaya, for me not so much. It doesn't particularly bother me to wear it. There are some days it is a little too hot for comfort, but I made the decision to come here and I knew the rules before I arrived so who am I to complain. I also wear a head scarf when needed. When we are in the souq or an area that isn't frequented by expats I wear it no problem. And it is always in my bag ready. But the ladies here cover their faces too. When we first arrived I found it a little daunting if I am honest. I found it difficult as I am used to looking at people's faces, as I am sure we all are, to form our views and feelings of a person. But when you only have the eyes to look at it is harder. But in turn it makes you look deeper. And in a way it is nice not to be there judging a person on their looks and fashion choices, because let's be honest we are all guilty of that!

It was once explained to me that if you had the most precious gem in the world would you flaunt it? Or would you keep it protected and covered? This how they see their women. They are a precious gem. It's kind of romantic when you think about it that way.

There is a lot of debate as to why women cover up, even within the Islamic community. It is understood that it is not a religious requirement, more a cultural one. Muslim are required to dress modestly and while covering the face may seem extreme to some it is a long standing tradition for others. It also gives a sense of privacy for some.

If you are a man coming to Saudi then a little respect is required in this matter. Jason who obviously works with Muslim women in the school has tried very hard to respect their privacy. For example when the ladies are in the staff room eating their lunch they obviously remove their veils. Obviously they don't expect him not to come in to make a coffee or collect his memos etc, but on the flip side Jason doesn't expect them to remain covered up 'just in case' a man walks in. So if he does go in he simply makes it known that he is entering and lowers his head. They know him well enough to know that he will respect them and not look. It is no hassle for Jason and puts them at ease.

The other preconception of Saudi is that women have no rights. Whilst this may have been true years back, this is rapidly changing. You would be surprised as to how much power a Saudi woman has in her house!! There is a good education system progressing here now, with women employment on the rise. Things are changing and will continue to change. Maybe one day women will drive here, who knows?! The royal family here love and respect their people. If a person has a problem or a need in a province then they can go to see their prince for assistance. This can be from livestock, to money, to education. The prince will meet with their people and help them. They are happy to make changes. I saw an interview with a prince (afraid I can't remember his province) and he was very forthright with the need for change, for the need to open up to the rest of the world, to create understanding and compassion, to encourage women to move forward. But he also acknowledged that change cannot be forced and it cannot move too quickly. It takes time and understanding. The changes have to come at the right time for the Saudi people who live here, they need to be happy. After all it is their country.

So if you come here, become aware. Learn about the culture and religion. Understand the people. Have respect for the country that is paying you your salary. You are a guest in their country, it is a privilege not a right. In reality I have learned very little in the grand scheme of things, but I HAVE learned, I have tried and what little knowledge I have gained I intend to take a long way. What we see and hear about the Middle East from the outside isn't entirely true. Our main problem is fear, because these people are different to us, they live their lives differently, but it doesn't make it wrong. And it doesn't make it scary. It just means we need to educate ourselves, which really can never be a bad thing. Let go of all the preconceptions you may have previously had and wipe the slate clean and start from the beginning, you will learn a lot more that way and meet some wonderful people. That's what I did and I have been truly blessed.