The One Where Grace Went to the ER!

So this may seem a strange kind of blog update, and even though last night was truly awful for us, especially Grace, I actually learned a lot. It was a night that really I should want to forget, but the lessons I learned I want to remember!

Now, I am incredibly blessed. My children have always been very healthy, never in hospital, never really sick, they haven't even had chickenpox!

So yesterday Grace was complaining about a pain in her tummy. On her right lower side. Just where the appendix is. So thankfully we have a good friend and pediatrician next door, so off we go! With Grace being little, it is hard to tell for sure whether it was appendicitis or not. So a phone call later and the on call surgeon from the hospital was at our house checking her over.

He was pretty convinced that it could be too.

So off to the ER.

The worst bit has to be the blood tests. 4 years old is that age, that is too old to cuddle the cry away and too young to explain reason too. And for Grace this was especially bad, this is the girl who will use a box of plasters on the smallest of cuts! Needless to say the cannula was somewhat traumatic, for all involved, including poor Joey who was gallantly trying to be the protective big brother! So an IV drip later and a little bit of sleep for Grace, the pediatric surgeon arrives. Grace is not the most angelic of children to be woken up, and pain or not she will not be your friend if you wake her.

After 40 minutes of unbelievable patience from the doctor we ascertain that the pain is much worse. By this point we are all pretty convinced it is appendicitis. Whilst worrying about the surgery etc Jason very thoughtfully asked about the scar. With her being a girl he didn't want there to be an issue for her later in life. What a Daddy - I am a girl and I hadn't even thought of that!

By this point poor Joey was exhausted and being in the ER room filled with poorly babies and his poorly little sister, it was time he went home to sleep, this could be an all nighter! Without question people were there for us. Erika stayed with Joey at ours without any question or pause, from one mother to another, words cannot explain how valuable, relieving and comforting that was! We had phone calls from friends to check on us and Grace and visits too. A moment like this makes you see how wonderful ones friends are. We are very blessed.

We were sent for a scan, thankfully it wasn't showing anything at this stage. So Jason took Joey home to Erika whilst we had an X Ray. This did show something up. An obstruction of the bowel.

By this point Grace was hysterical, from tiredness, fear and pain. She just wanted to be left alone. But we couldn't do that. The Dr examined her and decided on an enema. Now the examination was hard enough to get her to forgive, Lord knows what she is going to think of this. The nurse came in, a little under prepared, thankfully another nurse came in to help. Enema is done. And a very unforgiving little Grace hysterical that me, her mommy, could have let that happen. But I had to, for her own good. She was in agony and if this is what the problem is then surely it is better than surgery?

A few minutes later and we soon realised we had landed in hell.

Now this coming from the mother who used to chomp on laxatives like sweets, I KNOW what pain she was feeling. Vomiting, sweating, cramps, excruciating pain, it was starting to take affect.

Now I won't go into too much detail here, but on my own I dealt with this with paper towels and gloves (only to be asked later by the nurse why I hadn't taken her to the bathroom??!!! I mean seriously at 31 I wouldn't have made it to the loo, let alone a 4 year old!) During this chaos and upset there was a Saudi lady a foot or so away from me with a little baby. This could not have been pleasant for her to see either. But during it, she kept saying 'Sister...OK' and even though her face was covered I could see her eyes and I could see the empathy and support she was giving me. We didn't need words. We are both mothers. That language is international. In between me trying to get paper towels she was guarding her baby and mine. Sister, I thank you, you don't know it but you gave me strength and helped me through, God bless you!

So perfect man timing, Jason arrives as all of this is over. The sheets are changed and Grace is beyond exhaustion and sleeping.

After about an hour we asked if the Dr was coming back round, we were told we would be there for the night. We figured if this was still going to end in surgery we would all be better prepared if we got some rest. We asked if it was safe to take her home and bring her back the second anything changed. We are just praying that it was an obstruction and this can be the end of it.

After speaking to the surgeon, we agreed that it was safe to bring her home, so we did, on the condition she came back first thing anything changed.

Finally climbing into bed at about 4am, my eyes were heavy, but there was no way I would sleep fully. One eye open watching my baby girl.

Jason spoke to his boss, who kindly let him go in late so that he could also rest. About 9am I was up with Joey and a little while later, Jason and a little time after that Grace.

She looks rough, poor thing.

But............

She is in no where near as much pain as she was last night.

Thank God, we don't have to go back in, not yet at least.

Now it isn't to say it isn't appendicitis, the next few days will tell us for sure, but I am pretty sure now it isn't. Although I am surprised at an obstruction, this girl is regular as clockwork and eats so much fruit and vegetables and has never had this problem before as a child.

But that's by the by - I am just thankful she is OK.

What a scare. Kids are good at that, turning their parents into a trembling bowl of jelly! But it often takes a scare of your own to make you realise a few things.

What did I learn?

A Lot!

I learned that these parents who sit and watch their children desperately ill fighting for their lives are amazingly strong. I think I realised last night I would actually be a bit crap at dealing with that kind of thing. It is hard when your child is getting upset and will not consider reason about basic health care like a canula, and it is hard not to feel like disciplining them, but obviously you can't, you have to try to understand what is going on in their head. It is hard not to let your emotions take over, the worry, the panic. Even with a simple procedure like an appendectomy, I was scared stiff. What if she reacts to the anesthetic? What if there are complications? etc etc Bless all those parents who do find that strength and my thoughts are always with them!

I learned that the bond between a brother and sister is such a beautiful thing. Joey wouldn't let us take Grace and Grace wouldn't go without Joey. Sufficed to say that we're back to reenacting World War 2 today, but that's kids!

I learned who my friends are. The people who went out of their way to help us, talk to us, reassure us and look after us was overwhelming! Narien, who loves her sleep, was insistent that we call and wake her as soon as we knew anything. Now if you know Narien you will realise the grandeur of this! :-) Doctors who knew Jason from work were all coming in to see everything was OK. Farah and Imran came into the hospital to check on us all. Erika was there unquestionably to take care of Joey. To you all, you are my friends and I am honored!

I learned from the Saudi lady, that wherever we come from we are all the same. She was there for me. We hardly had a single word in common language between us. But during her own battle with her baby, she was there. The look in eyes is something I will hold onto forever, the International Language of Mothers!

I learned it is bloomin' scary having a sick child overseas!

I learned that the trivial things don't matter. Only earlier that day was I stressed about leaving here and the obstacles we are facing. But at that moment when I feared things were serious, those things just didn't matter anymore. I should remember that and build myself around it.

Most of all I learned about love. I realised how much my family means to me. We all get used to taking it for granted. But for the first time I was scared. I was scared for my family, I was scared for my little Grace. Sometimes we all need a little reminder of this. And I have had mine in a huge dose!

Now what we went through may seem trivial to some, but remember what a person goes through is not comparable to another, it is what is emotionally paramount to that person, and should never be judged by another.

We are lucky, I know, like I have said our children are never ill, we have never had a situation like this as parents, and we are undoubtedly blessed for that and because of that it is more important that we learn from this experience.

I have learned now, I don't ever want to have another night like that, and God willing we won't.

My family, you are perfection with all your imperfections and I love you, stay safe and well and I will always be here for you.

Mommy
xxx