I love camping. I love the little things about it. I love the fact that it is perfectly acceptable to walk around a field, surrounded by strangers, wearing your PJ's. In no other community could you get away with this!
For us camping is great as during our summers we are constantly camped out around our families houses, which is fabulous, but for them and us, it is good for us to have a place where we can be alone as a family and our respective families can get their houses back for a short time. It also acts as a base for us when we visit Pembrokeshire, combining visits and a holiday in one.
Most of all it is good for us as we are trying to give the kids the best of all worlds. With our lifestyle of airport lounges, flights and private school we run the risk of raising city kids with no real knowledge of the real world around them. Shamefully our kids already know at their young age how a hotel works, how an airport works, but their outdoor knowledge is limited. Getting their feet all muddy, washing in a dribbly campsite shower, sand between their toes, climbing trees and most of all making their own entertainment with other children in the middle of a field in a commercial and technological age that we are all dependant on.
So off we went to Pembrokeshire, car very much packed. It took a little longer than expected - over 5 hours due to being diverted off the motorway, which in true highways agency style there were no actual sign posts once leaving the motorway. Many circuits later and back on the motorway, we arrived. A beautiful sunny day. We sat and had a picnic before we set up the tent. The kids played in the park and 3 hours later the tent was up, everything unpacked and a very tired and hungry family!
Back in the car we travelled over to Pembroke Dock, went to Tesco’s and got real British fish and chips. We went down to a place called Hobbs Point. A place that has many memories, good and bad. But this time the sun was setting and I saw a beauty in a place that I had once taken for granted. Not just the visual beauty but the ability to experience such a momentary emotional beauty.
Back to the tent with full tummies and food ready for the next day. We got the kids to bed after a scrummy hot chocolate and me and Jason sat with a drink and relaxed. That night I went outside and saw the sky, it was simply beautiful. I had forgotten just how many stars there were up there! I saw a plane. I have always looked up and wondered who was on them, where they were going and what they were feeling. I would look up in envy, wanting to be sat in that cabin, going on an adventure. But this time I looked up and wondered if those people were on as much of an adventure as we are. This time there was no envy. Just a level of wonderment and intrigue. Maybe now I am settling. Maybe now I am settling into a life that I am happy with. A life that I am happy to be living.
During this trip I began to reflect and think a lot. Sometimes it is difficult to do this, it conjures up a vast level of emotion, and there are many emotions I have to deal with, with returning to Pembrokeshire anyway, most of which people would have no idea of to meet me. Happy, sad, excited, anxiety. It is always difficult returning, but it is getting easier every year. And next year we shall have to plan our visits much better as the emotional and physical toll it takes is a little too much!
For the first time I realised that I do actually miss the UK. Well, some parts anyway. In true yuppie style we had the TV in the tent with free view (something I said I would never do, but was actually a godsend on the rainy mornings when the kids couldn't play outside!) We were watching the TV one evening when the kids were in bed and I saw an advert, I can’t remember what for (I think the advertising committee failed there!) but it had fireworks in it and I made me think of Bonfire night. The smells and the feel of the autumn/winter air in the UK have a real homely feel to it. Something we haven't experienced in a while. It made me realise I miss the continuity of Britain. The adverts we all see, and moan about when we are here, for summer, Easter, Bonfire night, Halloween, Christmas. They all serve an obvious commercial and financial purpose, but they also give us that continuity we all need in our lives, which in turn gives us comfort, which we all lack appreciation for until we are without it. Just think of the Christmas Coca Cola advert.............................(you are now all humming 'Holiday's are coming' to yourselves now aren't you?!)
I also began to reflect on friendships. We had friends come to camp with us. At one point there were 14 of us. Meal times may have seemed chaotic with that many people, but they were in fact very organised affairs, noisy, but organised. We had a roaring fire and toasted marshmallows too! When I sat back and watched everyone tuck into their food, 3 families all together, I felt warm inside. But there was a certain level of something I missed. That familiarity. That family time that you can spend with other families. Something that we have lacked over the past 2 years. The constant in your friends and your children's friends. But I comforted myself with the knowledge that what we have maybe very different, but it isn't necessarily bad. In fact in some aspects it is better.
The first day of the holiday was glorious. Real beach weather. So off we went with picnic, beach towels, buckets and spades and sun cream down to Castle beach. We even got Daddy in the cold British sea. We were definitely on holiday! Needless to say the weather didn't last; it rarely does in Britain, one thing I certainly don't miss!
Thankfully most of the rain was during the night times, so we didn't spend too much time getting wet. During the 10 days we met up with the girls for the kids to all play together and for us all to have a catch up. It was just like 3 years ago - the 'pre Ellie getting ill' baby club (we all met as our babies were all born around the same times). I was incredibly anxious about the meeting, but it was surprisingly easy, and we all gossiped away like old times.
We spent a day on the beach that Jason used to go to as a child. For him this place has so many special memories and now he is reliving them with our kids. For him this must be very satisfying. We climbed the rocks, poked sea anenomies, looked in caves and enjoyed the time, once again, with no technological interventions!
We didn't get to visit all the people we wanted to. It is really hard, time wise, practicalities and the physical and emotional toll it takes. Next year will be different. We shall book a big table somewhere and everyone can meet us at the same time. This way we can still enjoy some resemblance of a holiday without the constant pressure of who we haven’t been able to visit yet. To all the people we didn't get to visit, we do think of you and we are sorry this time we didn't meet, but we will again I am sure, and true friendships will withstand the absence.
All in all it was a strange holiday. Not necessarily in a bad way, in fact we had a great time, expensive, but great! It was strange because of the varying emotions I had to deal with and the moments of clarity as well as confusion I overcame.
We will continue to camp there every year. Every year I will get stronger in facing my demons that still lie there. And every year I will learn to make more of our little trip away. Our haven amongst the chaos of visits and organising we inevitably face every summer. Every year it will get better. And our city kids, that were once beach babies, will return to their roots and learn who they are and where they are from. And hopefully at 15 they will still want to come camping with their Mom and Dad to the place we knew as home for so many years.
Loved this. It was nostalgic and happy and resonated with a lot of what I also felt during my visit home. I also read it with keen interest because I want in on this. I want to camp in Gavin and Stacey's kinda world.
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